If you’re a mum, you already know the juggle. From keeping up with the endless to-do lists to managing everyone’s schedules, there’s hardly a moment to breathe. That stress adds up, leaving you feeling drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

In their book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski explain that burnout doesn’t come from stress itself, but from getting stuck in the stress cycle. Understanding and completing the this cycle can be a game-changer for mums who feel burned out.

WHAT IS THE STRESS CYCLE?

The stress cycle is the natural process your body goes through when responding to stress. When you’re in a stressful situation—whether it’s your toddler throwing a tantrum, juggling work deadlines, or that never-ending pile of laundry—your body switches into “fight or flight” mode. Your heart races, your muscles tense up, and your brain floods with worry. This is a normal, healthy response to stress.

The problem is that, as mums, we often live in this heightened state all the time without completing the cycle. The stressor (the tantrum, the deadline) might pass, but the stress itself sticks around because we don’t give our bodies the chance to release it. When we stay stuck in this loop, it can lead to burnout.

HOW TO COMPLETE THE STRESS CYCLE

The good news is that your body wants to complete the cycle and let go of the stress. The Nagoski sisters give several practical, science-backed strategies that can help you move through the stress cycle and come out the other side feeling more balanced and calm.

Here are some of the most effective ways to complete the stress cycle, tailored to the busy life of a mum.

1. Move Your Body

Physical activity is one of the quickest ways to signal to your brain that you’re safe and it’s okay to relax. You don’t need a full-blown workout to see the benefits, either. A 10-minute walk, some dancing with your children in the kitchen, or even stretching can do the trick.

Find a way to move that feels good to you, and know that it’s not about burning calories—it’s about letting your body process and release the stress it’s holding.

2. Breathe Deeply

When life is overwhelming, taking a few moments to focus on your breath can be incredibly grounding. Deep, slow breathing tells your body that you’re not in immediate danger, which can stop that stress response in its tracks.

Try this simple breathing technique: inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four. Repeat this for a few cycles and notice how it helps your body relax.

3. Connection

As mums, we can feel isolated, especially when we’re in the thick of caring for little ones. Connecting with someone who makes you feel seen and heard—whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a fellow mum—can be incredibly healing. It doesn’t have to be a long, deep conversation; even a quick text to say, “Hey, I’m having a rough day,” can help.

Social connection reminds your body that you are safe, supported, and part of a community, which helps release pent-up stress.

4. Laughter

Laughter is a natural stress reliever and a fast track to completing the stress cycle. Sharing a funny moment with your children, watching a silly video, or recalling a hilarious memory can help you release tension and bring a sense of lightness into your day.

If you find it hard to laugh in the midst of overwhelm, that’s okay! Start by allowing yourself to smile or notice something humorous, and let it grow from there.

5. Creative Expression

Sometimes, stress gets trapped in our bodies because we haven’t found a way to express it. Writing in a journal, drawing, painting, or even singing can give you a way to release the emotions you’ve been holding onto.

If time is tight, try a quick brain dump on paper where you write down every stressful thought in your head without worrying about grammar or coherence. This can help get it out of your system so you feel less weighed down.

6. Crying

As mums, we often hold back our tears because we don’t want to appear “weak” or feel like we have to hold everything together. But crying is a natural way for your body to release stress. It’s not a sign of failure; it’s a sign of healing.

If you feel the urge to cry, let yourself cry! You may feel a surprising amount of relief afterwards.

7. Affection

This can be as simple as a 20-second hug. Physical affection releases oxytocin, the hormone that helps you feel connected and calm. If you’re feeling touched out from all the caregiving, you can try petting your dog or snuggling with a blanket.

The key here is to give your body the signal that you’re loved, safe, and no longer in danger. This helps your stress response to wind down.

STRESS MANAGEMENT VS. STRESS COMPLETION

It’s important to note that managing stress and completing the stress cycle are two different things. You can manage stress by organising your life, setting boundaries, and asking for help (all important!), but unless you give your body a way to physically complete the cycle, the stress can remain stuck inside.

Think of it like this: managing stress is like putting out fires, but completing the stress cycle is like clearing the ashes and soot away. Both are necessary to avoid burnout.

PRIORITISING YOURSELF IS NOT SELFISH

As a mum, it’s easy to feel like you should be everything to everyone all the time. But running on empty helps no one—not you, not your children, and not your family. Completing the stress cycle is about giving yourself permission to take care of your body, your mind, and your heart. It’s not indulgent, and it’s not selfish—it’s essential.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s not just the stressors in your life that need to be managed—it’s the stress itself. Completing the stress cycle is a way to give your body the release it needs to move from survival mode back into a place of calm and peace.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. So next time the world feels heavy, try one of these strategies. You deserve it, and your well-being matters.

Burnout is real for mums, but with the right tools, you can break free from the stress loop and find your way back to feeling more energised, capable, and alive.