Motherhood is challenging, and for many mums, there comes a point when juggling children, work, and the day-to-day demands of life leads to complete exhaustion.

But what if, alongside this exhaustion, you start noticing other changes—emotional, physical, and mental—that feel deeper than mere tiredness? Could it be mum burnout, or could you be experiencing something else?

For women in their late 30s to 50s, it’s possible that you’re facing a combination of both mum burnout and menopause.

These two experiences often overlap, but they are distinct in important ways. Here’s a breakdown of the key differences, the similarities, and how to navigate both, especially if you find yourself dealing with them simultaneously.

What is Mum Burnout?

“Mum burnout” refers to a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that arises when mothers become overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. It’s closely related to the broader concept of parental burnout but tends to affect women more acutely due to the higher caregiving responsibilities they often carry.

Common signs of mum burnout include:

1. Chronic fatigue – You feel constantly exhausted, no matter how much rest you get.
2. Irritability and mood swings – Even small problems can cause frustration or anger.
3. Mental fog – You struggle to focus or feel disconnected from daily tasks.
4. Emotional detachment – You may feel distant from your children, partner, or family.
5. A sense of failure – Persistent feelings of guilt or a belief that you’re not doing enough.

Burnout can occur at any stage of parenting, but it is often intensified during periods of heightened stress, which can be any stage of child- or almost adult-hood, or when trying to balance work and family life.

What is Menopause?

Menopause is the natural process marking the end of a woman’s menstrual cycles, typically occurring between the late 40s and early 50s. The transition to menopause, known as perimenopause, can begin much earlier, sometimes in the late 30s, which is why the symptoms of menopause and burnout can overlap.

Symptoms of menopause often include:

1. Hot flushes – Sudden and intense feelings of heat, usually accompanied by sweating.
2. Night sweats – Excessive sweating during sleep, leading to discomfort and disrupted rest.
3. Sleep disturbances – Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, contributing to fatigue.
4. Mood swings – Increased irritability, anxiety, or feelings of depression.
5. Brain fog – Difficulty concentrating or remembering things.

Both menopause and burnout can cause emotional instability, physical fatigue, and mental fog, but the underlying causes are different. Menopause is triggered by hormonal changes, while burnout is typically linked to emotional overload and chronic stress.

It’s worth noting that chronic stress, which can lead to burnout, can cause hormone imbalances, thereby exaggerating menopausal symptoms.

Overlapping Symptoms

Mum burnout and menopause often share overlapping symptoms, making it difficult to tell them apart. Both can lead to:

• Chronic fatigue – While burnout is caused by emotional exhaustion, menopause-related fatigue is a result of hormonal changes, poor sleep, and fluctuating energy levels.
• Mood swings and irritability – In both cases, you might feel more emotionally reactive. However, menopausal mood swings are hormonally driven, whereas burnout stems from stress and overwhelm.
• Sleep disturbances – Sleep can be affected by both night sweats during menopause and stress-related insomnia due to burnout.
• Mental fog – Cognitive issues, such as forgetfulness and lack of focus, are common to both, adding to the confusion.

The Emotional Load of Motherhood Meets Hormonal Changes

For many women, the emotional load of motherhood coincides with the physical changes brought on by menopause. By the time you reach perimenopause, you’ve likely spent years raising children, managing a career, and balancing countless responsibilities. The mental load can feel insurmountable, alone or when coupled with the hormonal changes of menopause, and it can become difficult to maintain the same level of energy and emotional stability.

This combination can intensify feelings of inadequacy or failure. You may feel frustrated by an inability to manage what once felt routine, but it’s essential to recognise that these changes are not just a sign of burnout. They’re also a result of the physical transformations happening within your body.

Navigating Mum Burnout and Menopause

If you suspect that you’re dealing with both mum burnout and menopause, you’re not alone. Many women face this dual challenge, and the first step is to acknowledge that both are real and valid. Whether it’s both or just one of these, here are some areas to explore:

Understand yourself – Your mindset and the beliefs you hold about yourself hugely influence how you respond to the juggling of the motherhood load. Rewiring your brain and changing how you respond, see yourself, and manage the expectations of you can be life-changing. With the right guidance, it’s not as difficult as it sounds to start this process.

Lifestyle changes – Lifestyle is crucial in managing both burnout and menopause. What you put into your body, your routines, and how you move all matter. Strong, healthful lifestyle habits can help you mitigate the physical, emotional, and psychological load of menopause and burnout.

Complete the stress cycle – Finding ways to address the hundreds of stressors you deal with every day (many of them unnoticed) will take you out of constant fight-or-flight mode. Even carving out a small amount of time for yourself each day can make a significant difference. See my blog post “Completing the stress cycle to avoid burnout”

Seek emotional support – Sometimes, just having an outside perspective can help you process and manage the emotional toll. Talk to a therapist or coach to help you navigate what you are going through. With the right support, both physical and emotional, you can manage burnout or menopause with resilience and emerge stronger

Consult a specialist: If you feel that these changes are taking a toll on your well-being and you need further support, contact your GP or a specialist.

Final Thoughts

Mum burnout and menopause may seem like separate challenges, but they often occur together at the same stage of life. Understanding that they’re not mutually exclusive and recognising their symptoms can help you address both. You may feel overwhelmed by the pressures of motherhood while also facing the physical and emotional effects of hormonal changes, but acknowledging both realities is essential for finding balance.

If you are experiencing either you can manage these periods of life with grace and strength. Every woman’s experience is unique, but you’re not alone.

The most important thing is that you find the right support to help you come out the other side feeling more in control and empowered than ever.